Just A Gigolo By Art Kuhl
“Just a Gigolo and everywhere I go people know the part I’m playing”. Most of us seasoned people know that song and have heard it many times. It’s kind of funny to hear it and hear about this guy who gets paid in one form or another to be a woman’s escort or lover. Of course the getting paid part is not in the song but it scorns the man for playing the part. I’m going to stretch the definition of the word and say it is a man who is seeing a number of women without each knowing about it. That song comes to mind when I think about a story a friend told me about this couple who were going together for a period of several years. The woman was convinced that the man was seeing other women when he was not with her. She even went so far as to try to hire someone to follow the man. Well that ploy failed when she couldn’t get someone to do the surveillance and gave up.
Well the outcome was that they broke up and he later found out she was doing a little shopping around herself! (the thing she accused him of doing). Whether any of this story is true is not able to be confirmed.
This brings me to the fact that so many women get hurt in a relationship because they go about it in the wrong way. A woman tends to be more emotional than a man (of course there are exceptions) and this leads her to act on the feelings of her heart rather than using her brain. If only a woman would follow these steps when getting into a relationship she could avoid a lot of pain.. One thing to always keep in mind: “don’t rush things”I think this is the single biggest mistake women make going into a relationship. Here is my advice for a woman to get started on a solid and lasting relationship with a man.
1 Feel the attraction toward the man.
2 Get to know each other slowly such as likes and dislikes, what kind of personality he has and his value system.
3 See if the chemistry is there! Do you feel good and excited to see him.
4 If you don’t have good chemistry I suggest this is the time to bail out.
5 Now is the time to see if you have built up a trust for him. Again if you don’t trust him you are probably making a mistake going forward. This is a very important part of a relationship. If you don’t have the trust, then don’t go any further. You can bail out now pretty much unscathed. It doesn’t me.an he is a bad guy but you need to have the gut feeling about this.
6 This is a good time to think do I love this guy and how does he feel about me? If there isn’t a relatively even feeling between you then you need to keep seeing each other a bit more to see if anything develops. If it doesn’t get better maybe it wasn’t meant to be and time to exit!
7. Commitment! Here is the time to make a commitment to be exclusive with each other. If you have love this shouldn’t be hard.
8. Intimacy! I know you were thinking is he ever going to get to this part! Well ok now is the time this might happen. Just remember good sex does not guarantee a great relationship. Of course it certainly helps. Please remember if you haven’t gone through the change use birth control! Even if you have it might not be a bad idea the first few times.
So here is an outline for a successful relationship but keep in mind in life there are no guarantees. Just remember use your brain first and spare your heart a lot of pain!